It's been a moment since I've done a music-related meme round-up post for yall and I do apologize for keeping you waiting. At least there's several to check out this time around yeah? Admittedly, at least a couple of these would likely need context to make sense (if you don't know the Eric Adams-Curtis Mayfield story, I suggest googling their names together and reading a real wtf quote from Adams) so yeah, good luck with that I guess. Now, without further ado: here's some dang memes!
On the afternoon of February 27th, I started remembering a movie I'd seen decades prior. Home alone with the day completely open, I decided to find said movie and live-tweet the event. Minus a couple of edits, these are the results. (WARNING: lots of spoilers, although I tried to not completely give away the ending)
somewhat misleading movie trailer
Shock 'Em Dead (1991)
I saw this movie at age 9 or 10 when I was a lil Guns n Roses obsessed rocker. And I was somewhat of an outcast I guess. So a movie about a geek who sells his soul to become a rocker spoke to me. But, by the end, I remember being bummed out.
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I also remember there being a really bad cover of "Purple Haze" early on so I am eager to see how that stands up. And I remember there being a lot of vomiting, I think that might be what happens when dude doesn't eat people? That's about all I remember.
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The biggest name in this movie is Traci Lords, but I'm pretty sure the main character is played by Stephen Quadros who does UFC commentary sometimes now? He also tried out to replace Peter Criss in KISS. And his body double played guitar in Nitro? Known for "Outfuckingrageous"!
opening track from the OFR LP
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Also, I don't know who Troy Donahue is really but apparently he was part of the inspiration and the first-namesake of Troy McClure from the Simpsons.
OK, I think it's time to press play now.
press play
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Ope, right off the bat it's time for "Purple Haze"! Oof, yeah, these vocals are rough. Kid JD was definitely right about this one.
Oh wait, it's intentionally bad. This is part of the story. I see...
Oh wait, it's only the guitarist who's supposed to be bad. Yeah, ok...
And The Wind Cries "FOUL!!!"
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Oh boy, Martin the geek is peeping on a girl changing clothes at his pizza job. So that's not so great...
But I recognize the audio from this scene where he quits his job! It's used before a Charles Bronson song, so that's cool. Might even be how the Discocrappy cd starts?
yep, that's how it starts alright!
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Eek, so looks like it's a "voodoo priestess" who gives this nerd his rocker powers. This movie is so politically incorrect that I'd swear it was made in the 80s. But, then again, I guess '91 was basically still the 80s.
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Dude is told he has to sell his soul to get what he wants and he's just all "alright!" And that definitely resonates with me. The food service industry sucks total butt, but rocking out regularly certainly doesn't!
Also, some "sick" special effects right here brah!
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BOW DOWN TO THE DOUBLE-GUITAR FROM HELL! And I'm not talking two necks. I'm talking two guitars joined at the body. That's how the devil rolls yall!
And, just like that, he wakes up in heavy metal paradise. The geek's stonk price is rising over here!
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Remembering I must've seen this on the "Action" pay-per-view channel. My biker dad had one of those black boxes to unscramble the extra channels back then. And Action would always show the B-movies with lots of boobs. That's where I first saw Class Of Nuke 'Em High.
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Oof, "Virgin Girl", not a good song. They have no business hanging up a WASP poster in that practice space.
But Martin is here and he's a shredder now! They still sound crappy, but it's a significant improvement.
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Martin's right, if "Virgin Girl" is any indication, this singer's song-writing is dogshit. And he's right, it is better if you play it "like this".
This body double from Nitro is really earning his keep here!
Ope, TSOL shirt! And just spotted a waterbed!
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Aaaah, he threw up because he tried to eat real food. Now he has to eat people!
The acting in this isn't bad. I'd even say really good for a B-movie. It's actually entertaining, just been a lil rough at a times.
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Oh shit yeah, kill the boss! But ok, he doesn't eat the people, he just absorbs their souls. I guess that should've been obvious? Whatevs.
Here's a twist I didn't remember/see coming: singer's banging H. Fuck, are they trying to villainize heroin users? Because that'd be wack.
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Martin just took over and "Virgin Girl" is now much better in sound (still painful lyrics). Ope, and he vomited again. Right on some lady in the front row. Very Troma-esque.
Martin has the double guitar now. Things are going swell for Martin, outside of the upset stomach.
"Virgin Girl" v2.0
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ooooookay, that song just ended with the lyric "I'm in love with a slut!" Much edge.
This version of "Purple Haze" with Martin is better but I'm still not feeling it, even with all the guitar virtuoso nonsense.
Now it's after the show and the usurped singer in biiig trouble! 👀
Jonny the singer finds trouble
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Haha, this guy does sound like Troy McClure! And he's got a big deal for Angel! Oh, that's Martin's name now.
I guess Lindsay (Traci Lords) and Angel are a thing now. Uh oh. And his three ladies (he got them in the deal with the devil) are "just friends".
Vomit take #3 aw yeah!
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Homeboy just said "nobody's gonna love you as hard as I can" all sincere-like, ew! Just bein' gross overall. Lindsay's not falling for it, good for her!
OK, he could've killed his landlord and he didn't?! He better get that bastard later or I'm gonna be big mad.
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OK, the 3 ladies just killed a cop and only one of them absorbs souls, so she takes it. Then she's all dissing the cop's soul, saying it felt like he had no personality. "I've killed cats and felt better" she said, lolz! Watching this movie was worth it for that if nothing else.
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Dude, this Angel guy fucking sucks. This has serious Marilyn Manson vibes. Like, the creepy shit about how he treats gfs and whatnot. No wonder this movie weirded me out when I was a kid. In fact, I'm really glad it did.
Real emotional roller coaster this one.
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Uh oh, the bandmates are onto Angel and the gang, specifically the bassist engaged to Lindsay. Now the cops are here. They dumb as hell though and can't find anything. And they had a body hidden not only in a closet but in a dishwasher! A DISHWASHER YALL! That's a new one for me.
speaking of dishwashers, apparently this is dishwasher-safe
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Shit's blowing up. Angel is still a fucking domineering creep douchebag though. Such a douchebag that the bassist just nearly sold his soul to take him out. It's not often you get to root for a bassist in a movie. I'm ok with this development.
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Wait, I think the bassist just killed one of these servant ladies with toothpaste! Mind you, eating kills them. It was something in a tube. I don't think it was tartex at least.
I don't think I'd acknowledged the band name til just now. Creeping Flesh? That's pretty dope.
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Oh wait, Angel's band is *opening* for Creeping Flesh. I bet they're way better.
This scene with Angel cranking some shreds for Lindsay while she's tied to a chair is mega bizarro. God, Angel sucks total butt.
Oh, this is all part of some ritual. Girl, you in danger!
MFW Angel is anywhere near Lindsay this entire film
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Now the bassist is here to the rescue! And Creeping Flesh is watching all this thinking it's part of their stage show and are super into it. No one's there though. Wild sound check eh?
Not gonna say who just so I don't completely spoil the movie, but that head explosion was neat
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I'm giving this one 5.5/10. Had its moments, was totally watchable, just reeeeeaaaaalllly cringe at times, even more than typical for the genre. I like it more as an adult for sure.
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Wait, just remembered Angel didn't kill the landlord. Downgraded to 4.5/10.
MFW landlords survive
Couple things to note: Angel's band is called Spastic Colon, which might be a better name than Creeping Flesh. How did I miss that one?!
Also, I didn't really focus on these occurrences before but, if slurs of the F and R variety are upsetting to you, then you might want to avoid watching this one.
Finally, there may be some inaccuracies here and there. I was multi-tasking, after all.
It's time for the final offering of memes 2018 had to offer. This time around, we had fun with pies, an "all men are terrible" pun that's likely to become a cult classic, a reminder of really crappy Sepultura and Live songs (sorry), and, most importantly, the birth of Rotten Crow! It's been an amazing three months, yall!
For the second year, I spent a decent amount of time making memes on a shit computer with minimal graphic editing skills and, thus, feel the need to re-share a good portion of the music-related silliness I forced upon the world in 2016. Most of these memes were originally posted in UUUM (the "go fuk" series was featured elsewhere). Feel free to share, ridicule, etc.
