I have a confession to make: meme creation is taking over. And, considering such is the case, yearly reviews are likely to become too overwhelming. So, let's try a flashback quarterly review of January through March for the moment, ok? Cool...
All of these, some worse than others, were posted in UUUM and/or elsewhere throughout the "uuuniverse". Also, these music-related memes, as well as other stabs at ridiculousness outside of the sounds of music, are viewable on my public Instagram account (IG: juliusdiamond42069). Please feel free to share, credit is appreciated/next to godliness.
For the second year, I spent a decent amount of time making memes on a shit computer with minimal graphic editing skills and, thus, feel the need to re-share a good portion of the music-related silliness I forced upon the world in 2016. Most of these memes were originally posted in UUUM (the "go fuk" series was featured elsewhere). Feel free to share, ridicule, etc.
Last night I got stuck watching the Oscars at a bar, which was not what I was hoping to do with my night. However, it wasn't all a loss: Chris Rock's opening dialog was a solid critique of racism in Hollywood while What Happened, Miss Simone? was nominated for best documentary (which everyone should see, all hail Nina Simone!). But the top moment of the night was obviously when Mad Max: Fury Road won the award for Best Sound Editing. And, while the movie was beyond ridiculously fucking awesome, the real kicker was the fact that Kira Roessler was part of the movie's sound editing staff.
Now, hopefully most of you know a bit about Kira already, but for all the poseurs our there: Kira Roessler grew up in southern California, going to a super weird Scientology high school where she befriended Darby Crash and Pat Smear of the Germs. This paved the way for her playing bass in various punk bands such as Twisted Roots (also featuring Smear and brother Paul best known for his work in the Screamers) and, though nothing really more than a fill-in stint, DC3 (another band featuring her brother as well as Dez Cadena of Black Flag).
Kira is best known for her time spent in Black Flag (83-85), which is easily my favorite era of the band if you also include My War (the last record they recorded before Roessler joined). She could blast out the fast punchy basslines as well as get really weird and noodle-y as can be heard on the instrumental EP The Process Of Weeding Out. She did all of this while juggling her school schedule at UCLA. She also impressively managed to put up with a male-dominated hardcore scene while having to play "Slip It In" every night. Oh, and Henry Rollins while he talked shit on her in his tour diaries. Since Black Flag, she has stuck to playing in Dos, a 2-piece project with now ex-husband Mike Watt. They continue to play sporadically.
Although she's no longer a very active musician, she has definitely made good use of her time as a sound editor on a vast number of movies and television shows. In fact, she already has a couple Emmys under her belt from her work on Game Of Thrones and John Adams. It's comforting to know her Oscar won't be lonely.
So let's celebrate punk rock's #1 super babe (sorry for the objectification, but I only speak the truth) and badass by watching her rock out on "Rat's Eyes" in '84. Also, enjoy Henry's whining at the end if that's your sorta thing.
Typically I do a top 10 list of favorite records released as my way of taking a look back at a year. Unfortunately, I never felt motivated to do so and, instead, have decided to post my favorite music-related memes created by yours truly in '15.
If you told me a few years ago I would be someone who created memes, I would have croaked due to "lmao" at you. Buuuut...I dunno, dank memes are pretty cool yall. And, I'm a silly person who's learned to not be embarrassed by my extremely sub-par image editing skills.
All of these memes were originally posted in the UUUM bookface group. There are other memes that I have created and posted not included here as they were either a) not music-related b) too much of an inside joke for the rest of the world or c) just sucked so goddamned bad that it makes these look like pieces from an art gallery.
Nearly six years ago, my brother in metal Butch (aka B.Menace)
had his worst fears come true when Ronnie James Dio died of stomach
cancer. Butch once very sincerely proclaimed
that he didn’t want to exist in a world without Dio. Amazingly, Butch lives on in good spirits and
health.
But what my buddy felt on that dreadful day is what I’ve
been feeling for around three weeks now.
On December 28th, cancer struck again as we lost Lemmy only
days after turning 70. He was once
referred to in the film Airheads as
God. And when your god dies, how are you
supposed to deal with that? For a while
there I thought that, unlike Butch, I wouldn’t make it. This is the world I never wanted to live in.
Lemmy, born Ian Fraser Kilmister on Christmas Eve 1945 in
a small British town, grew up in Wales after his father abandoned him at three
months. His mother remarried and he
disliked his step-relatives. From an
early age, he didn’t trust authority. By
the time he’d reached his teens, he’d fallen pretty hard for Little Richard and
the Beatles. He also wanted a way to
impress ladies. This formula would
create an inevitable result: a die-hard rock and roller with a powerful mind, a
love for substances (sans heroin), and a fuck count that reached into
four-digit territory.
It wasn’t long before Lemmy was playing guitar in small
bands around northern Wales which continued after relocating to England. His first big taste for the life came when he
got a roadie gig with the Jimi Hendrix Experience in ‘67. Soon after that stint, he roadied for the
Nice, a much underrated outfit known for being Keith Emerson’s first big break.
I'ma just put this here...
Lemmy’s supremely legit rocker status came once he began
playing bass in the psych rock group Hawkwind.
His time with this band is absolutely stunning, including three solid
LPs and the mind-crushing single “Silver Machine”, which made it as far as #3
on the UK charts in ’72. Also, Space Ritual from this period is one of
the greatest live records ever made.
On one hand, it’s a shame Lemmy got the boot from
Hawkwind in ’75. The Canadian border
patrol busted him with amphetamines while on tour, some shows got cancelled,
and the granola acid-heads who made up the rest of the band were feeling hypocritically
uncomfortable with all of that. And with
the booting, Hawkwind’s peak was unfortunately over. What a stupid fucking thing to do you guys.
But, the world balanced itself out and you can likely
guess what happens next: Motörhead happens next, dur! Named after Lemmy’s last song contributed to
Hawkwind, the band shuffled lineups a bit before finally sticking with the
“classic lineup” of guitarist “Fast” Eddie Clarke and drummer Phil “Philthy
Animal” Taylor just in time to be voted “Best Worst Band in the World” in an
NME magazine poll.
With this lineup came the LPs Motörhead, Overkill, Bomber, Ace Of Spades, and Iron Fist
in a span of around four and a half years.
These records changed rock n roll forever. Lemmy had the command, putting his often whimsical
lyrics through that trademark gruff voice out in front to accompany his
distorted, high-end bass guitar tone.
Clarke’s guitar work brought commanding riffs and also frequently indulged
in high-flying, wah-saturated, harsh solo licks to further push the wild styles. And then there’s Taylor, whose incredible
ability to drive a song on a drumset while kicking its ass into oblivion is
something I’ve not heard anyone perfect in his manner no matter how many punk,
metal, hardcore, etc bands try to bite the technique.
And that brings up another VERY important point: no other
band has ever been able to bridge the gap between punk, metal, and rock n roll even
remotely to the same degree Motörhead did.
It was tough as nails yet catchy while employing most of the tricks used
by rock n rollers since the beginning.
The execution was far more unique than any other band playing at that
volume around the turn of the 70s/80s, which made them difficult to define but
easy to love across the spectrum. They
were also way talented, but those who appreciated rock prowess seemed to enjoy
them just as much as someone who simply wanted to bang their head…like, really,
really fucking hard.
While this lineup definitely set the tone for how the
group would forever be known, future lineups were equally impressive. To take a brief sidestep, one lineup that,
while in the past decade or so seems to have gained a bit of traction with Motörhead
fans, has been grossly overlooked: a brief one following Clarke’s departure resulting
in 1983’s Another Perfect Day. This record is notable for being the sole LP
featuring Thin Lizzy’s Brian Robertson.
If you’ve never heard it and that’s not enough reason for you to check
it out, then I don’t see how the hell there’s any reason you should even take
one more breath. Seriously, just stop.
Outside of Motörhead, Lemmy had several other musical contributions
that, to say the least, are worth noting.
He briefly played in the Damned in the 70s. The collaboration between Motörhead and rippers
Girlschool is one of the greatest collabs of
two rock groups ever. Lemmy also worked
with Wendy O’Williams, another intense yet massively inspiring personality. A long-time fan, he wrote “R.A.M.O.N.E.S.”, which
the four long-haired denim-clad oddballs outta NYC later rocked themselves. One of his more interesting offerings was
penning the 1991 Ozzy Osbourne hit “Mama I’m Coming Home” which happened to
earn him way more money than anything else he’d ever done.
Until his dying day, Lemmy never faltered, never letting
go of a band that is beyond legend while simultaneously keeping his own superhuman
legend well intact. This is quite impressive
considering, if nothing else, that someone with the consistent substance intake
of Kilmister probably should’ve never lived to see 35, much less double that
number. In his autobiography, White Line Fever, there is a tale where
he went to undergo hemodialysis much like Keith Richards infamously did in the
mid-70s. When the doctors analyzed him,
however, they informed him this couldn’t be done. Apparently, if Lemmy took in clean blood it
would kill him. On the flipside, if
anyone were to receive his blood, it would kill them. The “man” lived off poison, literally.
Rolling Stone: "Do you have a favorite
hangover cure?" Lemmy: "Well, to get a hangover you got
to stop drinking [laughs]. I've never been much of a fan of that."
Lemmy is the ultimate embodiment of “sex, drugs, and rock
& roll”. He’ll be remembered by many
for partying nearly anybody who tried to keep up under the table. His image is instantly identifiable: the
mutton chops, the hat, the moles on his face Beavis once referred to as “cocoa puffs”, etc. He was the only
person who didn’t seem like at least somewhat of a dumbass in Decline Of the Western Civilization pt 2. His presence in Troma films, among many other
things, helped to prove he didn’t take his iconic status too seriously. Lemmy was adored as a personality just as
much as a performer.
And let me just tell you if you’ve never read White Line Fever, my favorite
autobiography ever, or at least seen the documentary aptly titled Lemmy
that you are sorely missing out.
He’s not your average piece of shit rockstar. Maybe at worst you could perhaps try to classify him as a
womanizer, but that’s unfair. There
may’ve been some objectification and sleaze, sure, but he had the utmost
respect for women. Or anyone deserving,
really.
Truth is, Lemmy was the greatest bad role model any of us
miscreants could ever hope for. He had
no need for religion. He claimed his
band was apolitical, but he had no lack of opinions on world events and various
wrongs. I adored his perspective on
9/11, essentially saying the one-time tragedy couldn’t compare to other
atrocities that have happened throughout history. FINALLY, I was reading the thoughts of a real
ass motherfucker (or, as the popular Lemmy tagline goes, “49% motherfucker, 51%
son of a bitch”) and not just another stupid rock n roll asshole. Conventional thought didn’t interest him and,
to boot, he was a great guy with a massive heart. There’s no doubt in my mind he was the most
solid-minded celebrity that has existed…at least in correlation with my fucked
up way of thinking.
He also scoffed at the concept of speaking fondly of the
dead if you harbored ill-will towards them while they were living. Let this be your cue to talk shit about Lemmy
if you didn’t like him. And let this be
my cue for slitting your throat for speaking ill of my god. The holy war begins…
"Fuck this "don't speak ill of the dead"
shit! People don't become better when they are dead; you just talk about them
as if they are. But it's not true! People are still assholes, they're just dead
assholes."
On September 12, 2009, Motörhead headlined a bike rally
in Cherokee, NC. My dad, a seedy biker
type who used to sell drugs to wrestlers and run guns for biker gangs, told me
that he had a Harley that won some races there back in the day. There was no way I was going to miss out on
seeing them play in the most fitting setting imaginable, and I planned to bring
as many substances as I could find.
Tons of leather, guys chilling on Harleys revving up
their engines between songs far trumping any clapping or hollering from the
rest of the crowd, most of the Asheville crew I came with getting as fucked up
as humanly possible while enjoying one of the greatest bands to ever grace this
undeserving planet. My mind was beyond
blown. I somehow remember it fairly
clearly, yet I’m not sure it ever sunk in that what was occurring was in fact reality.
After the show, wondering around like an amped-up zombie,
I get a call from Kristin (aka Wifey) telling me where she is. “Uhhh, hey guys, they’re
backstage with Lemmy…I’m fucking getting back there somehow.” It didn’t take long to find the area they
were in. Security walks up to stop us but, once we waved to our friends cooling it with God himself, we were allowed
to walk in.
Lemmy didn’t want any of my weed. He didn’t want any of Josh’s moonshine. I guess he was perfectly content with his
Jack and Coke that he’d likely been drinking since he woke up. I slurred out some words that were intended
to indicate how stoked I was that they played multiple songs from Another Perfect Day along with other
various praises. He was very nice about
the experience but seemed a bit too tired to properly deal with our
overwhelming vibes.
I got a picture taken with him. Kristin was too drunk; she took a photo of only our shoes. Josh (aka Claude Budget) got
a really nice one though. I don’t care
about pics with celebs so much, but I’ll always be slightly bitter about this one. But how bitter can I be really? I mean, she did provide what’s likely the
greatest heads-up of my entire life.
Lemmy and Josh. Not pictured: me
To put it into perspective, this was the end of the
MySpace era. On my profile, in the “who
I’d like to meet” section, which was typically used for people to describe what
sort of dickbags they’d be down to hang with, my answer was simple:
“Lemmy”. I got my wish, and I got in a
solid hi-five.
Then, we went to the casino and I lost about $30 in an
hour. When in the holy land, do as the
lord would do.
♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠
And now the man, the legend, the god…the guy that
actually did kinda feel like an old grandpa when I had my arm around him for that
fateful photo shoot, is gone. A month
and a half prior, we lost Philthy – obviously another case of two lovers passing
in a close proximity of time. Here’s
hoping to a bitchin’ reunion in whatever sort of afterlife people of their kind
would be allowed. Maybe Philo and Jimi
are hanging at the bar enjoying the sounds.
While I have not been working so hard on this blog lately, there have been some big things on my plate. For starters, my small label Humdinger Records is releasing a cassette for Dolores de Huevos out of Mexico City. Incomplete Works will contain both previous EPs and a new track, "La Mascara de la Muerte Roja", recorded exclusively for this tape. The new Dolores tape will drop on Wednesday, October 21st when their eastern US tour begins here in NYC. Tour dates are below, go say hello and rock out a bit! -10/21: Brooklyn, NY @ Don Pedro w/Rebuschaos, CCTV (Dolores cassette release show) -10/22: Philadelphia, PA @ the Pharmacy w/Black Planet (OH), Lilith Velkor (NYC), Humanshapes -10/23: Richmond, VA @ McCormack's w/Abstruktor (Boston), Genosha, The Obsolete Man, The Donalds -10/24: Centerpoint, WV @ the Second Annual Mountaineer Country Chaos BBQ -10/25: Rutland, OH @ Skatopia -10/26: Cincinnati, OH @ Urban Artifact w/Kinkajoos -10/27: Whitesburg, KY @ Appalshop w/Globsters, Google Boys, No Witness, Woolsaw -10/28: Asheville, NC @ The Odditorium w/Empty Vessels (CT), Horseflesh, Swamprot -10/29: Knoxville, TN @ Indigenous Vibes w/Dendritic Arbor (Pittsburgh), Coffinwomb, Steaks -10/30: Chattanooga, TN @ Ziggy's w/Mudsex, Genki Genki Panik, La Basura Del Diablo (Halloween costume party) -10/31: Atlanta, GA @ 559 Winton Terrace NE w/Broken Factory Windows, Noizsound -11/1: Gainesville, FL @ The Fest (9:30 time slot @ Market St Pub) -11/2: Orlando, FL @ the Space Station w/Zeta (Venezeula/Miami), Manic & The Depressives, Dead Kids Check out some tracks from Incomplete Works: Listen to "La Mascara de la Muerte Roja" via bandcamp
I'm a big fan of rating things, or just judging things in general. So of course I'm gonna make a top ten list of my fave releases of 2014, right? Below is my list with the inclusion of my favorite track from each album. Now it's your turn to judge my list. Ain't skeered.
#10: Tacocat - NVM (Hardly Art)
#9: Nux Vomica - s/t (Relapse)
#8: Perfect Pussy - Say Yes To Love (Captured Tracks)
#7: The Budos Band - Burnt Offering (Daptone)
#6: Lecherous Gaze - Zeta Feticuli Blues (Tee Pee)
#5: Survival Knife - Loose Power (Glacial Pace)
#4: Black Rainbow - s/t (Starcleaner)
#3: Electric Wizard - Time To Die (Spinefarm)
#2: PyPy - Pagan Day (Slovenly/Black Gladiator)
#1: Priests - Bodies and Control and Money and Power (Don Giovanni/Sister Polygon)
Honorable Mention/Best Live Album: Screaming Females - Live At the Hideout (Don Giovanni)
I'm in a band called Exposeur. We're playing a few shows out of town. Come judge us.
LILITH VELKOR/EXPOSEUR'S FUN-SIZED JUNE TOUR!
JUN 21 - Brooklyn, NY @ The Suburbs w/Polst (OR), Dead Tenants 4PM
JUN 22 - Baltimore, MD @ Barclay House w/Sacridose (Tampa), Spoilage 8PM
JUN 23 - Raleigh, NC @ Slims w/Pie Face Girls, Chimes At Midnight 9PM
JUN 24 - Asheville, NC @ Static Age Records w/Kreamy 'Lectric Santa 8:30 ***Flies Around It cassette release show!
JUN 25 - Hazard, KY @ Cuddle House w/Globsters 7PM
JUN 27 - Chattanooga, TN @ Sluggo's (Do Ya Hear We? Fest) 6PM
JUN 30 - Richmond, VA @ Strange Matter w/Shellshag (BKNY) 5PM ***no Exposeur at this show
Last night I checked out the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremony. It was probably the first time I watched an entire one of these since the 90's but I happen to have the luxury of premium cable television where I live and, well...I have my reasons (more on that later). Below are some various thoughts I had while watching.
-Like Saxondale, I think the only good Genesis is the Peter Gabriel lineup. However I find the dude's solo career incredibly boring. Also, that loser from Coldplay's induction speech for Gabriel was weird and stupid.
-I somehow had no idea that Linda Rondstadt had so much to do with the creation of the Eagles. WHOOPS!
-PsFd reader's poll time! If you witnessed this televised event, which made you feel more uncomfortable to watch: the four original members of KISS meet on the stage or seeing Krist Noveselic and Dave Grohl walk up on stage with Courtney Love? Cast your votes in the comments section! As of right now I'm currently undecided.
-I wish it didn't cost a million bucks to see Bruce Springsteen.
-Hall & Oates are fucking awesome. If you don't at least like 70's H&O then you can straight fuck right off! And they NAILED "She's Gone"! Just like the Boss I would love to see them but tics for their shows probably cost half a mil. Here's to hoping they play one of those free Coney Island concerts someday.
-OK, Nirvana getting inducted...I'm allowed to feel a bit sentimental over that I think. I remember being a young teen and calculating the year Nirvana would be eligible for induction, which is 25 years from an act's first release. And it happened right on time. Sure, this means nothing in the scheme of Nirvana's legacy as no award is sufficient enough to speak for the imprint they left, but it was cool to see. 12 year old JD has been waiting a long time.
-I take much pleasure in knowing that two members of the Melvins got thanked during a RnR HOF induction ceremony.
-Krist Noveselic in a fedora...somehow that doesn't offend me. He never did seem like the kind of guy who really gave a rat's ass about appearances anyways (his stint in government being an exception).
-Kim Gordon, singing "Aneurysm". That will forever be the coolest RnR HOF moment and you're a stupid wrong shitbag if you think otherwise. OK, maybe that time Dee Dee Ramone patted himself on the back could arguably be better but I'm sticking with my choice here.
Alright, that's it. I doubt I will spend 3+ hours watching this congratulatory nonsense next year.
